“How do you feel, without hyping it for Freud”
He’d said it so cavalierly, left me unsettled.
I can still feel the blood rushing in my ears, my heart going into a mild arrhythmia, trying to pause, and think before leaping. Was it really just as simple as that? Until then, we’d managed to never spell anything out, and though it made any future uncertain, to me it seemed a better situation, as I willfully spared myself from any disappointment. So fatalistic, right?
There’s something about saying what you feel out loud that makes it an entirely different matter, in spite of tacit understandings. But are we still capable of that, express our feelings, make ourselves vulnerable, or are we, nowadays, too cynical to aim for authenticity?
Metaphors serve an aesthetic purpose, sure, but are they also just a crutch? Shrouding our feelings in obscure explanations, we can, accordingly, hope to protect our self-esteem. Is authenticity only for the rare few remaining naive fools or is it a regrettable loss we should strive to remedy? I think it’s time to reclaim our vulnerability, stop assuming it’s synonymous to weakness.
I hope my own experience has taught me that although being authentic can be scary, in the end, taking that risk is always worth one great relief.